Burn, Baby, Burn!
A new wave of conservatism has announced itself in the free-thinking state of Utah. It’s the Book Burning party. They burn books, they burn the authorities … hell, they burn each other! They’re committed to the concept that all men are not created equal (women even less so) and those who don’t measure up with their words should be destroyed. Calling on socially-solidifying acts like book burnings, these hearty outlanders want to send a clear message to those whose liberal, free-thinking ways are not in lock-step with their own marching orders.
Book Burners Unite
It takes a strong commitment to restrained thought and controlled actions for anarchists and arsonists to strike the match of religious indignation. Mainstream, modern thought is no hindrance to the religious soldiers fighting on the front lines of fascism and radical social degeneration. They call on all supporters of limited thought and religious repression. These vaunted protectors of ignorance and sublimation have found a new rallying cry.
Torching the Truth
The thought of finding new concepts, ideas, and perceptions is an abomination before Heavenly Father and all that works against the celestially-centered is anathema for these Followers of Fire. This new political group has chosen the name “Burning Brethren” and cite their ecclesiastical mandate to cleanse the world of all thoughts and ideas counter to their mandate of abstention from learning and understanding.
Let Us Gather at the Fireside
Like so many of their predecessors, the Burning Brethren have chosen to isolate themselves from modern excesses, choosing instead to revert back to a simpler, more propagandized time when people followed religious leaders without question or comment. No critical voices are allowed in their highly-ordered world and the resultant silence provides the foundation for complicity. “Never mind clothing or hairstyles, it’s what’s inside that counts and the more barren the vessel, the better its ability to be filled with righteousness,” stated one of the group’s followers holding a hot dog to the flames. Together, the Brethren have learned to remain ostracized from mainstream thought and culture.
“All We Want is to Be Left Alone”
According to the testimony of Brother Conflagration, known affectionately as “Mr. Matchstick” amongst his flock of followers, the Burning Brethren have no desire for social intercourse with others. “We just feel our way of thinking and our desire to limit the intellectual capacity of our congregation helps serve Heavenly Father. No one can question His authority and dominion over our people when they can’t write or think properly. This serves His purposes for us.” When asked what he feels is the most compelling reason to emolliate epistles, Brother Conflagration states, “Anything that runs counter to our beliefs and ways is a threat that must be dealt with inside of Heavenly Father’s laws … so we burn, just like others have done over the ages”.
One Gospel, One Heart, One Brain
Members of the Brethren point to the mantra they often recite when undertaking a burning, “One gospel, one heart, one brain”. When asked what this means, Sister Scorch, aka “Heavenly Father’s Flamethrower”, speaks up with conviction. “We don’t need to understand Heavenly Father. Our leaders do that for us. All we need to do is what they tell us and everything will be fine. It saves us from having to do all that thinking and reading and such. This way we can spend our time on the really important stuff in life.”
When asked about the future for the Brethren, the leader says there’s much yet to be done. “When Heavenly Father tells me to burn something or someone, I don’t ask why, I just do it. And from what Heavenly Father says, there’s lots of things that need a good old-fashioned burnin’ out there!” Brother Conflagration sees opportunity in many places. “Those White Supremacists and Klu Klux Klan guys got nothing on us … we’re gonna set them straight and then we’re gonna move on to the more mainstream people, like televangelists and Baptists,” he says with conviction as he tosses a copy of Tom Sawyer onto the pile. “When we get done here,” he says with a smile, “We’re gonna go find us some of them liberal politicians and teach ‘em good about getting’ tarred and feathered!”