Jason Chaffetz Pretends He Doesn’t Play Dungeons & Dragons

We haven’t really talked much about Jason Chaffetz since he pussied out and decided to not take on Orrin Hatch.

However, Chaffetz reemerged yesterday when he decided to bring a moment of clarity to the SOPA debates by saying:

Let’s bring the nerds in and get this right … If you don’t know what DNSSEC is, you don’t know what you’re doing.

The Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) is a proposed bill that “expands the ability of U.S. law enforcement and copyright holders to fight online trafficking in copyrighted intellectual property and counterfeit goods.” It was in committee yesterday—a time for members of Congress to share their own expertise on the subject and call witnesses to testify about the potential implications of a bill—and it became painfully obvious none of the Representatives there had any fucking clue what they were talking about, sparking Chaffetz’ comment.

A similar meeting happened November 16, with these reactions:

One by one, each witness—including a lobbyist for the Motion Picture Association of America—said they weren’t qualified to discuss … DNSSEC.


The techno-ignorance of Congress was on full display. Member after member admitted that they really didn’t have any idea what impact SOPA’s regulatory provisions would have on the DNS, online security, or much of anything else.


We have no technical expertise on this panel today … It hasn’t generally been the policy of this committee to dismiss the views of those we are going to regulate. Impugning the motives of the critics instead of the substance is a mistake.


This is just another case of Congress doing the bidding of powerful lobbyists—in this case, Hollywood and the music industry, among others. It would be downright mundane if the legislation weren’t so draconian and the rhetoric surrounding it weren’t so transparently pandering.

In other words, Congress is full of fucktards who don’t have any fucking idea what they’re talking about, yet they’re ready to make the Internet illegal. At least Chaffetz admitted his ignorance on the issue, but it’s yet to be seen whether anyone is actually going to take him up on his proposal.

Until then, I’m just going to sit here, in my parents’ basement, playing Skyrim and eating Doritos, waiting patiently for a phone call from Jason.


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